We Now Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming to Bring You This SPECIAL OFFER!!!

Friends*! Family! Long lost ex-girlfriends I haven’t seen since fifth grade**! I’m here to inform you of a ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY for YOU! Yes YOU! For the next 7 months and the next 7 months only, YOU have the chance to fly to an exotic, warm, tropical country


(nicknamed the land of lakes...


... and volcanoes!)

...and be personally escorted from AMAZING destination to AMAZING destination by your own personal translator and tour guide (me!), who will make all of the travel arrangements in-country for you in advance, all at NO (extra***) COST to you! WOW!!! What an INCREDIBLE deal! Be the first on your block**** to take advantage of this AMAZING CHANCE OF A LIFETIME!

Don’t speak Spanish? NO PROBLEM! Your guide will handle all spoken interactions with the locals, including ordering DELICIOUS food


from one of many excellent restaurants, and making sure you don’t get burned on financial transactions!

Don’t think you can make the flight? YES, YOU CAN! From Detroit, it’s just a comfortable 2.5 hour flight to Houston, where you would be free to enjoy the excellent Tex-Mex cuisine at Pappasito's Cantina in their food court before boarding your leisurely 2.5 hour connecting flight to Managua, where your tour guide will meet you at the gate! All for the low, low price of around US $500!! A mere drop-in-the-bucket for you successful go-getters who got jobs right out of college^! If you’re coming from further south, it’s even shorter and cheaper! WOW!

Don’t think the Third World is for you? Don’t think there’s anything to do in a country you weren’t sure was on the same continent as you until you started reading this blog? THINK AGAIN! For travelers of all ages and experience levels, WE HAVE THE TOUR THAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU! Take a look and see, if you don’t believe me:

The Parents/Beach and Island Tour!

After stepping into the warm Managua sunshine^^ outside the airport, we would walk across the street to the world-renowned Best Western Hotel Las Mercedes, where you could rest up from your non-stressful journey and enjoy four-star cuisine and a quality hotel experience. The next day, you would have the option of renting a car from the Alamo Rent-a-car, which conveniently offers pick-up service at Managua International Airport, or we could always take a safe, overpriced taxi to the beautiful destination of…



GRANADA! Where you would enjoy the sites of this most-visited-in-Nicaragua colonial city, full of ancient churches,


American-quality restaurants and hotels, and interesting street performers! You would have the choice to stay in the luxurious Hotel Colonial or the equally majestic Hotel Granada, and spend the first day taking a horse-and-carriage tour


of all the must-see churches in the area. The next day, we take a tour of the Isletas of Granada,


a chain of hundreds of small islands formed in an ancient volcano eruption (with or without some possible visitors


from Monkey Island, the most famous^^^ of the isletas), and treat yourselves to a massage at a volunteer-recommended spa! All while enjoying the delicious breakfast fare of Kathy’s Waffle House, the too-incredible-for-words lunches of EuroCafé and Garden Café, and either the exquisite world-fare of Tercer Ojo (Third Eye) Restaurant or one of the many traditional (in the American sense) bar/restaurants along the famous Gringo-strip of Granada.

From there, we would take a short, two hour drive to the port of San Jorge, where we would board the ferry to go to the beautiful ISLAND OF OMETEPE!


An island in the middle of lake Nicaragua formed by two active (but not too active!) volcanoes (Nicaragua’s not nicknamed “The Land of Lakes and Volcanoes” for nothing!)! There, we would stop in the port town of Moyogalpa to sample the best pizza on the Island at Chido’s Pizza before heading to the Resort/Hotel Finca Venecia for the night! While on the Island, we would meet my girlfriend and her host family, and would be free to rent horses for the day, and ride around enjoying the view of the lake and the countryside and the beach at La Punta,


(Donna's host fam at La Punta)

my personal favorite destination in Nicaragua for its view of both volcanoes at once!

Not done relaxing yet? That’s always an option in Nicaragua, and after taking the ferry off the island, we could take the easy, two hour drive back towards Managua to go to MONTELIMAR, the nicest resort in Nicaragua, located on the beach in Masachapa. After the beach, we could leisurely make our way back into Managua, which is only an hour from Montelimar, stay at the Best Western again if necessary, and walk across the street to the airport!

The Brother/Mountain Adventure Tour!

Not quite so enthused by going to the beach? Not a problem! There’s plenty of adventure in Nicaragua too! We could start by adventuring onto the public transportation system, which while a bit smellier and more crowded than a personal car, costs about 1/20 of what it would cost to take taxis places!

Instead of just hitting up the Isletas in Granada, while in the neighborhood we would also go ziplining down a nearby mountain!


(Elyse, from the Environment group, ziplining!)

Like in the Facebook movie where the chimney breaks, except the people who do this zipline are professionals with rigorous safety standards!

If ziplining wasn’t enough of an adventure, then surely heading out to historic LEÓN on the Pacific Coast to go Volcano-boarding would be! It’s like sledding, except with sand instead of snow (check out the awesome pictures in the link!). The Green Pathways tour offers T-shirts, two mojitos, and two chances to volcano-board for US $25. A great way to spend a day, and afterwards we could go back to their restaurant, where they serve the Best Pizza In Nicaragua, including Pesto and Roasted Veggies(!!!)

Afterwards, we could head down to the Island, but instead of renting horses, could actually climb up the volcanoes! Worth it both for the challenge and the view! This could all be done in three or four days, which would leave plenty of time to relax on the beach afterwards at SAN JUAN DEL SUR,


another of the most-visited tourist destinations in Nicaragua, and only a half hour or so from the port to go to the island! While there, we could take a night-time excursion to see thousands^^^^ of turtles in the process of laying their eggs, or just lay out on the beach and enjoy the view, as well as the cuisine and accommodations that rival Granada’s in their catering to foreigners! to recuperate from all the adventure!

The Super-Fachenta/Nature-Lover Exotic Getaway

Not into that whole gross land-based transportation thing? Got dollars to spend? WE’VE GOT YOU COVERED! Instead of leaving the airport, we could, for another $150 or so, fly directly to the CORN ISLANDS on the Atlantic coast!


(Chelsea, from the Environment group, climbing a palm tree)

It’s like a whole other country on the Atlantic side, where they speak a mishmash of English, Spanish, Miskito (native language) and Creole. The Corn Islands are known for their exotic fishes and snorkeling opportunities! We could lay out on the beach sipping Mai-tais like celebrities in between snorkeling and climbing palm trees! While there, we would be staying at the luxurious Anastacia’s On the Sea, owned and operated by my close, personal friend Robert (who you may remember from previous blog entries)!

Alternatively, we could take to the water instead of the air, and after a short taxi or bus ride to Granada, we could take the 16-hour ferry across all of Lake Nicaragua to San Carlos (lounging around and sleeping in hammocks most of the time, of course), from which we could take a boat tour of THE RIO SAN JUAN! The Rio has recently been in the news down here, as the Costa Ricans are trying to claim it as their own. And who can blame them? It’s the second-most fachenta tourist destination in Nicaragua behind the Corn Islands, offering resorts, restaurants, and nature tours along its beautiful wildlife reserves! Included in this package: Night Jungle Hikes, River Tours, Bird Watching, Wildlife Refuge tours, and much, much more!

The Real PC Nica Experience/Economical Tour

Only recommended for experienced travelers, in this tour instead of hopping into a hotel or a taxi, we would jump onto a crowded Ruta bus (which costs 12 cents to ride), and ride to the bus station where we’d be shuttled onto a crowded Microbus (read: conversion van, rides on which cost 1-3 dollars), and head down to Dolores to meet my first host family!

They’re pretty great! You’d get to experience the cold Nica shower (or, if the water went out, the even colder Bucket Bath).

From my host fam’s house, it’s a short, dollar-total two-micro ride down to LA BOQUITA,


(note: not my legs)

an underappreciated beach getaway on the Pacific Ocean, where we could swim, lie out, and drink Toña and Flor de Caña. Watch out for those waves when you’re playing float and see what happens*^!

The next day, we could meet some of my friends who live in the area, and go out to the smelly, dusty, cramped and crowded MASAYA market, home of the ugliest bus station in the entire world, where we could shop for beautiful artesanía

at bargain-basement prices (paintings for $5-20! Hammocks for $10! Shirts for $2-3!). We could spend the night on my friend Alex’s floor/hammock.

Afterwards, we could take a micro back to Managua, another ruta across the city, and then a six-hour (and six dollar) bus ride up to JALAPA, my home sweet home. You could stay with my host family while here (who will soon have many beds/rooms open, as half of the family is moving to a new house a few blocks away). We could take in the $2-3 per plate local fare: gallo pinto, fritanga, pupusas, and more (to be detailed in a near-future blog), or could cook for ourselves


for a little bit more. You could come and watch me teach at my school, meet my teachers and students, and even help me out with pronunciation practice if you wanted! Hopefully by the time you get here, you’ll be able to see my beautiful world map, and if it’s toward the end of my service, my projectors and computers I’ll have acquired as well! After all this, I’d see you back down to Managua, and get off the bus with you at the airport before walking to the bus stop a mile or so away to catch one back up to my site.

*_*

Don’t see a tour that has exactly what you want in it? NO PROBLEM! Like at Burger King, in Nicaragua YOU CAN HAVE IT YOUR WAY: You’re free to pick and choose and mix and match any of the specific travel options from any of these tours!
DON’T LET THIS SPECIAL, LIMITED-TIME, ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY PASS YOU BY!

But don’t take MY word for it! Let’s hear from some extremely satisfied customers, one and all parents of people from my TEFL group who came to visit their daughters down here:

"I had never been to a place where I could see volcanoes and such unique, beautiful geography. I couldn't pass up a trip to Nicaragua--traveling around with my daughter was like having a personal tour guide. I enjoyed my visit so much that I'm bringing my mother (84 years old) with me on my next visit in July."

-Patti Corley, Mother of PCV Megan Corley, Charlestown, WV

"I hadn't ever traveled outside of the U.S. or Canada, much less to a country with a different language (that I didn't know a word of). But, alongside my wife, I threw caution to the wind and decided to visit Meg. Now, I feel that seeing a third world country is something every American should do, if possible. Although Meg took us to Ometepe, two volcanoes, and the beach (which were all beautiful), the definite highlights of my visit to Nicaragua were observing my daughter's work in her town, seeing her teach an English class, and meeting her Nicaraguan friends and work colleagues."

-Tom Corley, Father of PCV Megan Corley, Charlestown WV

"My husband and I spent two weeks in Nicaragua in July 2010, visiting our PCV daughter, Laura, and seeing the sites. We enjoyed the beauty and history of Granada and its good hotels and restaurants. The sunset over the Pacific Ocean was beautiful at San Juan del Sur. The hills in Nueva Segovia reminded me of the Smokey Mountains. One of the best parts of the trip was visiting Laura's PCV friends and her site mates, getting the know the people in her life…. It was a delightful two weeks filled with lots of fun memories. We hope you get to visit your PCV in Nicaragua, too!"

Susie Sanders, Mother of RPCV Laura Sanders, Knoxville, TN

“Well, my husband, my son and I finally made it to Nicaragua to visit Allison. She planned the entire 11 days. We were told to just get to Managua. It was so wonderful to see her after more than 15 months. We began our trip in Granada…We stayed there for 4 days. We visited many beautiful churches and went to the local markets. We also did a lot of eating..... Allison made sure that food was the front runner of the whole trip. (she was getting tired of rice and beans)… We also took a day trip to the volcano and zip- lined down the side through the jungle trees. I am surprised that you didn't hear me screaming. Maybe that was my favorite part of the trip!... I still can't believe that we actually did it. Our family barely travels past the states surrounding Illinois! I recommend visiting Nicaragua, and this is coming from someone who has never traveled before.”

-Denise James, Mother of RPCV Allison James, Chicago, IL

"Tasting" Nicaragua with my Peace Corps daughter Jocelyn remains a treasured shared memory. Nicaragua's ocean beaches, lagunas, and mountainous vistas offer beauty and peace. Yes, there is poverty, but a full life does not avoid the suffering, but chooses to witness it and give it permission to sway one's heart and life. Enrich your life! Vacaton in Nicaragua!!!

- John Norman, Father of PCV Jocelyn Norman, Cincinnati, OH

(Thank you to all the parents quoted for generously providing their perspectives!)

*_*

Ok, I meant for the tone of this entry to be only semi-serious, but on a serious note, Nicaragua IS a beautiful country, and I WOULD seriously love to show it to anybody who's willing to come down and see it with me. It's totally cheap for a vacation after you get past the plane ticket, and a lot easier than you'd think. Feel free to email me for specific information about prices (or for the emails of some of the parents above, who've generously offered to tell anyone interested (but especially my own parents) in seeing me more about their personal experiences). Give it a chance! Like the entry says, time really is running out! So act now, don't delay; come to Nicaragua Today! ;)


footnotes:

Friends* - offer not valid for those currently pregnant or nursing, in grad school or in massive amounts of debt, with jobs overseas or in the non-profit sector, or some other legit situation that would preclude being able to afford this type of trip.

fifth grade** - Shout out to Laura Wilson, if she's reading this. My point is that no matter how long it's been since we've seen each other, odds are I'd still love to see you, especially if you were willing to come all the way down here to see me.

extra*** - offer strictly applies to translating/booking services; offer does not apply to plane tickets, hotel room costs, restaurant fees, purchases made abroad or in preparation to go abroad, or any other cost not specifically disclosed above.

first on your block**** - ...or, well, the first person period; not a single person has come to visit me from the States during my 20 months here, and only two PCVs from outside of Nueva Segovia have, one being my girlfriend, Donna, and the other being Allison, both of whom are awesome.

college^ - offer again not valid for those non-go-getters mentioned in the first footnote.

Sunshine^^ - sunshine in question may or may not include liberal helpings of smog, humidity, noise, cloying taxi drivers, political protestors, etc.

famous^^^ - or infamous, depending on your point of view on animal rights.

turtles^^^^ - number of turtles may vary.

float and see what happens*^ - miss you Claire!

A final note on the pictures: all belong to either me or Donna, except the one of ziplining, which is Elyse's, and the one of climbing the palm tree on the Corn Islands, which is Chelsea's. Thanks a lot!